Episode 19 - Brave Communication in Friendship

Co-Host: Ally Smith


Friendship with a mindset of wholeness.

Lasting friendships require a willingness to go deeper- even when it’s not fun. Inviting realness and authenticity into your friendship allows deep roots to grow.

The main distinction between a “polite friendship” and a “deep friendship” is competition. If you are truly in someone’s corner, and you are showing up to the friendship with a desire to see Kingdom come in that person and in that friendship, your friendship will have lasting roots of authenticity and respect. And unless you have surrendered every bit of personal gain to God, the competition will try to find a way into your friendship. Just a little spark of competition can poison an entire friendship.

At any point, you could choose to be jealous and competitive within a friendship. Or, you could choose to see the gold in your friend the same way God sees it. When you see your friendship as beloved, you are cultivating freedom, depth, and a relationship unlike anything else in this world. Furthermore, God will bless you with the gift of truly seeing his goodness unfold in something and someone so close to you.

Authentic friendship is worthy of healthy and hard conversations. Pursuing clarity- especially when it’s hard and especially when it sucks- is one of the biggest responsibilities in authentic friendship. The world may tell you that your friendship will end if a confrontation happens, but if you truly invite God into disconnect and ask that he would cultivate trust and honor in your friendship, confrontation can make the friendship stronger than before.

It is so important to honor your friends. Many times, it can be difficult for a single girl to have a genuine friendship with a single guy- and vice versa. The way to maintain a healthy friendship without crossing boundaries is to simply honor that person for who they are. Don’t let your emotions or your mind get ahead of you- don’t allow yourself to fantasize about them- don’t make them apart of a false narrative. That is not honor- that is manipulation.  

If you develop feelings for a friend, it’s so important to be brave and share how you feel. And if the feelings are not reciprocated, know that the rejection is an invitation to wholeness rather than emptiness. You can ask God to show you more of yourself through rejection and you can also walk in empowerment knowing that you were brave and pursued clarity with honor.

Fearless Co.

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